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  • 56 minutes ago
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lexlifts:

the barista at my starbucks dropped a shot glass and paused and looked at it on the floor in pieces and said “just like my hopes and dreams”

I have no words. Omfg.

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  • 58 minutes ago
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  • Anonymouspizza isn't healthy
  • fitchris25

    Neither is your attitude.

  • Thoughts In the Life of Me.

    BOOM

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  • 1 hour ago
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  • 9 hours ago
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miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE

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  • 9 hours ago
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cosbyykidd:

sickomobb:

ghivashels:

colinmorgasms:

what if obama does the ice bucket challenge and nominates queen elizabeth

what if obama actually talks about what’s going on in ferguson

what if obama stopped exterminating the middle eastern population with drones

what if obama lowered my gotdamn tuition

What if Obama quit playing golf and actually did his job

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